Description
If you’re looking to console a friend or someone during a time of loss, words may fail you, but you want to send something to show your love. A gift certificate or money can be impersonal. They may have all of the flowers they have room for. But a bit of freshly baked comfort food may be just what they need to feel loved and nourished during a tough time.
Sending a sympathy care package of cookies is a meaningful, personal gesture that lets friends and family know your thoughts are with them at a difficult time.
When to Send Sympathy Care Packages
There are the obvious times: when someone has lost a person close to them (or a beloved pet) or received a troubling health diagnosis. There are also subtler losses: losing a job, not being chosen for a job opening, not making a sports team, or getting passed over for a part in a play or musical ensemble. And then there’s just the plain old bad day, when you know your loved one is struggling with stress or rejection or discouragement.
A sympathy cookie delivery can help your loved one feel understood and loved. They may feel like they are in a haze or a dark pit, but the sympathy care package is an unexpected pick-me-up that helps them know they’re not alone in their challenges.
Why Sympathy Cookies?
There are plenty of things that you can send to your loved one during a time of loss, but we believe cookies are the perfect choice for many reasons.
- Personal. A grieving person doesn’t need a lavish gift. In fact, a big, shiny gift at a time like this can look tacky, like you’re trying to throw money at their problem. But cookies are a humble gift from the heart. They suggest home cooking, love, sentimentality, and customized care. They say, “If I lived closer, I’d bake these myself and drop them by with a hug.” In fact, we like to think they’re the edible form of a hug.
- Widely loved. Flowers are the old standard, but not everybody wants a dozen roses. Plants are nice, but then there’s the upkeep, and if a person is grieving or in a period of heavy stress, they may not want that responsibility. But it’s really hard to find a person who won’t appreciate a gourmet cookie. They tend to evoke images of Mom or Grandma serving up a warm batch just when you needed them. They transport you back to simpler days. A bite of a fresh cookie can provide your loved one with an indulgence and a temporary reprieve from the heavy emotions they may be carrying.
- Shareable. A cookie care package opens up the option to eat your dozen cookies all on your own (and we respect this), freeze them for later, or share them. Grief can draw us inward, but the opportunity to share cookies with roommates, co-workers, or neighbors may put a spring in your loved one’s step. And if your loved one is dealing with a profound loss that involves having company in town (for hospital visits, funerals, etc.), they will appreciate having food to go around (especially food that they didn’t have to bake themselves).
- Chocolate therapy. It’s a real thing. Whatever your loved one may be going through, it’s highly probable that chocolate can help. Send one of our chocolate chip cookie gifts, and those delicious chocolate chunks can trigger endorphins, also known as “happy chemicals,” to help boost their mood.
- Quick and easy. When you know your loved one is suffering, you want to react quickly to let them know you care. That said, life is busy for all of us, and you may not have oodles of time to create a homemade gift. What’s more, you may not be living close enough to deliver it anyway. Thankfully, in just a few minutes on your smartphone or laptop, you can get a cookie comfort package in motion. We’ll do the baking and delivering and get those sympathy cookies delivered to your loved one’s door as fast as possible.
What Type of Sympathy Cookies Should I Send?
We have options—many of them. You can’t go wrong with our beloved Classic Glazed Sugar Cookie or Snickerdoodle or our Milk Chocolate Chip Cookie. If your loved one is a peanut butter fanatic, our peanut butter chip is a fan favorite. For chocolate enthusiasts, our brownie marshmallow and brownie mint cookies have a cult following. For something on the lighter side, our Lemon Meltaways are light, tangy, and really do melt in your mouth.
You can send a dozen or more of one flavor, choose an assortment (we’ll surprise you), or choose “build-your-own” to send a carefully curated selection of your favorite gourmet cookies.
What Should I Say to Show my Care?
When you send your cookie comfort package, you’ll have the opportunity to send a personalized note along with it. If you’re having trouble choosing the right words, you’re not alone. Most of us struggle to know exactly what to say to someone who is hurting.
Here are some words that can help bring comfort.
- I’m so sorry you are hurting.
- Sending love and peace.
- This hurt, and it sucks!
- You’re in my prayers/thoughts.
- My heart is with you at this time.
- I’m with you during this difficult time.
- I hope you can feel my love.
- I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
- You can cry on my shoulder.
What Shouldn’t I Say?
As your friend works through his or her loss, there are also some things you shouldn’t say—things that might heighten their grief or trigger unhelpful thoughts or emotions.
- “Buck up” statements. Grief can make us feel uncomfortable, so our “fix-it” instincts kick in. Resist the urge to chime in with phrases like, “Life goes on,” “You’ll be feeling better before long,” or “I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing, but thank goodness your mom is still alive.
- My/me statements. In the sometimes awkward space of trying to comfort a grieving friend, we may resort to what we know: ourselves. We may say, “When my uncle passed away…” Or, “My husband lost his job, too.” The truth is, everyone’s grieving experiences are different, so trying to relate theirs to ours can feel like you’re being dismissive. Instead, listen and acknowledge with statements like, “I can’t imagine, “ or “This must be so hard.” And remember that listening may mean that you have to listen to your loved one talk about the same emotions or experiences over and over again as they try to process the grief. Your patience and attentiveness over time can be an invaluable show of support.
- “Call me if you need anything.” Grief can make us want to isolate ourselves. It can also overwhelm us. We may need companionship or logistical help without even being able to put a finger on what we need. Come to your friend with specific offers of help and/or choices rather than broad brush offers that they’ll likely never take you up on.
Helpful offers may include:
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- I’d like to call you once a week. Would that be useful for you?
- Could I watch your kids on Wednesday mornings?
- I’d like to bring you a meal. Would Monday or Friday night be better?
- Religious platitudes. It’s human to want to assign meaning to difficult events, but sometimes, we just don’t know the meaning of things, nor will we help our grieving loved one when we try to figure it out. Avoid statements like, “Your loved one was needed more on the other side” (in the case of a death) or “God is trying to strengthen you through this” (in the case of disappointments).
- “You should/shouldn’t.” Because grief can trigger the full spectrum of emotions and last different amounts of time for different people, your loved one may say or do things that seem all wrong to you. You may wonder: Why are they isolating? Why are they losing weight? Why are they gaining weight? Why are they snapping at me?As hard as it is, refrain from giving advice such as, “You’d feel better if you got to the gym,” or “It’s been several months. It’s probably time to start moving forward.” These statements are rarely as helpful as affirming statements like, “Take the time you need to heal, “ or “Grief is a process. I’m here to support you as your body and mind work through it.”
The most important thing you can do for your loved one is be there for them…not just on the day of their heartache but long-term. Call them regularly (set reminders on your phone if needed). Sometimes people show up immediately after a traumatic event but disappear after that. Your loved one may need you just as much on the one or two-year-anniversary of a loss as they did on the day of the loss. Your consistent communication will show that you’re a source of unconditional love and support for the long-haul.
Order Your Chocolate Shipped Cookies Sympathy Gift Today When words fail, cookies don’t. Visit our ordering page and send a cookie gift package today. Our cookies are engineered to taste as fresh and delicious upon arrival as they did just out of the oven. Plus, they’re beautifully packaged, so they look as good as they taste. It takes just a few minutes to place your order, but you’ll be letting your loved one know that you’re here for them now and always as they work through the hard times.
