Long-distance relationships with family members can be challenging to nurture, especially when travel may not be possible. Staying in touch and strengthening family bonds requires creativity and deliberate efforts to reach out to those we love. We think the best way to let family members know they are on your mind is to send them some of our Chocolate Shipped Cookies, but there are lots of ways to let them know you care. Keep reading to find out what other families are doing to stay close.
Michelle Devani
Michelle Devani, Relationship expert and the founder of Lovedevani.com.
Send home-made gifts
Keeping in touch with family from afar can be a difficult task, and while some feel like giving up, some find ways to reinforce the bonds of family. In my experience helping people with their relationships, you can remain close to your faraway family members even when you don’t get to see each other daily.
Video chats. Thanks to technology, we can talk to family members [in different] states or other countries. Schedule family video calls and reconnect with them. Sharing stories and updating each other regularly with what’s going on in your respective lives helps you get to know them and their day-to-day activities.
Send home-made gifts. Turn crafts into little surprises when you send them to relatives. These thoughtful gifts are perfect little reminders from home until the next time the whole family gets together again. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but constant communication and thoughtful gifts from the heart [for special occasions] help you celebrate with beloved family members even from afar.
FaceTiming or snail mail
It’s hard to stay connected with friends and family across long distances, and this year, more than ever, our family has really had to think outside the box.
There are two main ways we’ve sought to strengthen our family bonds from afar:
First, we’ve relied more heavily on FaceTiming (and teaching my 92-year-old grandfather how to FaceTime). We’ve also allowed the kids to use messaging apps like Facebook’s Kid Messenger. The kids love being able to design their own silly photos and play video games with their friends and family directly in the app.
Second, we’ve revived our use of snail mail. My kids have been creating things that can easily be sent via the postal system. The oldest two (six and eight) have been writing letters to their grandparents, while the three-year-old has scribbled or painted pictures. We’ve done “mail hugs” by tracing the kids’ arms on butcher paper and having the kids decorate them, then folding them up and mailing them.
My older two kids have also designed comic books, stories about their days, and even their own Pokémon cards, which we’ve mailed to our friends and family. Even the baby, who just turned one, “participates.” We trace or paint-stamp his handprints or footprints onto paper.
Charissa West
Charissa West is a mother of four and a high school teacher. She runs The Wild, Wild West Parenting & Teaching Blog, which primarily focuses on humor, reflections, and resources for parents and teachers of young children.
Ron Blake
Ron Blake, Founder of Blake Late Show. He is an artist and activist for rape and PTSD survivors. He lives in Phoenix.
Sending letters with stamps and stickers
I send actual letters in the mail with envelopes and stamps to my four siblings, my parents, and numerous cousins. They all live far, far away from me.
It has been such an incredible way to strengthen my bond will all of them. Handwritten letters are a lost art. Getting mail like this is a means for them to truly feel me and my presence in their lives. Touching the letters is the next best thing to a hug or kiss. It is a part of me there with them.
I add to the experience by enclosing one of the short stories I write each month for my editors. These stories are printed on stationery that is specific to the theme of what I’ve created. Ergo. They are very vibrant and festive.
I [make] a customized, handwritten cover letter for each relative to engage with them as if they were in the room with me [when] they read it. I want them to know it is just them and me. You see, it is our time at that instant – a time to bond.
Lastly, I choose the right stamps to put on the envelopes and stickers to affix to the papers and envelopes, bringing the package alive with a certain je ne sais quoi. Using a variety of colored pencils and pens bring a personal touch, but [with] the simplicity of a kid. It isn’t fancy. It matches who I am – a blue-collar guy without a lot of money, without the ability to visit often, and without the ability to send expensive gifts.
None of that matters to me, and quite honestly, none of that stuff matters to them. What we have is unique. It is ours.
I try to create an experience monthly for each of them – opening each envelope and uncovering the magic. Most of my creations are based on true stories from my life. They are nostalgic and relatable, which further enhances and strengthens the bond between them and me. The miles between us disappear.
Send your relative a recording of your voice
Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them. Share a fond memory or talk about advice they’ve given you that you’ve carried with you. A digital recording of your voice can make their day and even become a lifelong keepsake. Especially during these times when we can’t travel or be physically close to others, we can use our voices to strengthen our relationships with the people we love. It’s a very special thing.
Anthony Pham, MD, MPH
Anthony Pham, Chief Product Officer, and Founder of Speeko.
Artie Baxter
Artie Baxter, CEO and co-founder of Paperclips.
Make something handmade for them
The first thing to realize when trying to strengthen your bond with someone who is far away is that it won’t be easy. The distance makes a lot of things unachievable, but it doesn’t make it impossible.
One thing to do is set aside time to make something handmade for them. These crafts [can] be a surprise present for a distant relative to let them know you’re thinking about them. Whether it’s for a birthday, holiday, or no special occasion in particular, allow yourself time to get creative and make something. [It will] make their day.
Sending gifts straight to their doorsteps
I am thankful that smartphones and other similar gadgets have given us a handy way to communicate, tearing the sadness apart. I know how it feels to be away from a relative or family [member]. You worry so much, although you are trying to enjoy your daily life.
The more you talk with each other, the deeper your bond grows. My eldest daughter is out on her own now. It’s just heartbreaking to let go of someone you got used to seeing every day, but I know it has to happen as she has to find her future. I’m just happy because whenever I give her a call, she always answers. We often exchange text messages too.
An online group for the family is one of the best ideas. You all can talk or be in a video conference. I haven’t tried it on other social media platforms yet, but it works great on Facebook. Playing online games together is nice too. Sending gifts straight to their doorsteps and remembering birthdays or other occasions [shows you care].
Shelly Peel
Shelly Peel, one of the founders of socialmum.com — a lifestyle blog that explores social media.
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